Fathers & Partners

While most partners are also fathers, not all are. This page is for those people who are the primary support at the time that a woman has her baby. I understand that not everyone likes the term “partner”, but I find it useful as it is all-encompassing, if somewhat “businesslike”. Whoever you are–husband, lover, wife, friend or other, I hope you find some useful information here.

Breastfeeding – How a partner feels about or supports breastfeeding can make or break it. I love Gloria Lemay’s cheat sheet for supporting breastfeeding. La Leche League International have a more academic take on it. Do you think you need to feed the baby with a bottle to promote father-baby bonding? Think again, with these 50 alternatives.

Home birth – For those whose partners are considering a home birth, especially if you think it’s a nuts idea, this video is for you. Local, kiwi guys telling it how it is.

Great fathers – This website is a veritable toolbox, full of useful stuff, made here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. I generally have a copy of the DVD for loaning.

Supporting at birth – I came across The Other Side of the Glass some years ago, and have yet to watch the actual movie; the trailer looks really good. If someone wants to buy it for me… (hint, hint.)

Stress after (or before) birth – Birth is a time of massive change, which can be incredibly challenging. Partners can experience postpartum stress, too. This article suggests that it affects one in ten men. Great Fathers have some suggestions for stressed partners (scroll down). Given that it’s usually worse for partners of women who are suffering postpartum depression, the Ministry of Health as some suggestions about what you can do for mums. Whoever is doing the suffering, John Kerwin’s website is really good too. Don’t suffer in silence. You could try sharing this pearl of wisdom from a mama with your baby’s mama to help her understand where you are coming from.

Legal stuff – Am I really the baby’s dad? If you really have to know, this is the information about how to verify paternity. I wouldn’t recommend testing baby during pregnancy, as the testing is invasive and can result in miscarriage or premature birth. Why would you, when waiting just takes a mouth swab? Oh, and it’s just a mouth swab for dads too.